Getting Rid of the Cataract

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29 Jul 2019
If pirates are still too afraid to come outside and face the sun, PMF Advanced Proof however, it might be necessary to take the time to stare at a welding spark with one hand over an eye for a similar amount of time. After an eye exam, the damage that the eye received will surely yield results that will allow a pirate to acquire a true eye patch.

Now that pirates are one step closer to rebuilding their dark, brooding, intimidating characters, they will need to choose some bodily extremity to lose. Be it a leg, hand, ear, or simply a bout of vicious (natural) scarification, one of these will be necessary to rebuild the image of pirates that was reminiscent of the 16- and 1700s.

This can easily be done by throwing oneself in a lion or crocodile pit at a local zoo, training with UFC champions (or even angrier runner-ups), or strapping a hand or knee to the rails of a high-speed transit system. Incidentally, for those pirates concerned with pain, the Shanghai Manglev monorail is the fastest in the world.